


Sick Of Losing Soulmates

by renatavisani



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, S4 fix-it, sorry it's shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 19:56:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9400733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renatavisani/pseuds/renatavisani
Summary: Three times Sherlock Holmes almost said "i love you" to John Watson and one time John Watson actually said it first.





	

the first time sherlock holmes almost said "i love you" to john watson, they were in a swimming pool and about to die. sherlock had snippers pointing guns to him, and john was willing to die for him if it was necessary. " _if we only die once, then let us die together_ "; sherlock thought. he never said it, but his eyes did.  
———  
the second time sherlock holmes almost said "i love you" to john watson, he was about to die again. suicide. your life is not you own, keep your hands out of it. he couldn't. if he didn't die, then john would. and this time, sherlock was the one willing to die. when he said "goodbye john" instead of the famous three words and watched john frown as his world fell apart, he knew that he wasn't the only one who just died. suicide kills two people.

———

the third time sherlock holmes almost said "i love you" to john watson — surprisingly — he was about to die again. a six-month mission, that's what mycroft said. he was never wrong. and sherlock holmes would never see the man he loved again. so, what's to miss? sherlock always thought the words we didn't say were the ones that haunted us in the end. ghosts we make for ourselves.  
and the east wind was coming to get him.  
but, instead of that, he changed his words to "sherlock is actually a girl's name". and, when john watson laughed, he knew it was worth it.  
they shake hands. sherlock wanted more.

———

sherlock holmes comes back, of course. england would fall. they were in a room projected by the sister he never even knew he had, playing some ridiculous game that could get him, john watson and mycroft killed at any minute. it's not a game anymore.  
"i love you". that's what sherlock had to hear from someone in order for them to keep breathing. a life. in his hands. but who could ever love someone like him?  
molly hooper, they thought. the clock was ticking.  
10, 9, 8...  
she said it.  
sherlock said it first. he didn't mean it. he didn't want her to die.  
then she said it back. we're safe, sherlock thought. he was wrong.  
the clock kept ticking, and the detective didn't understand. wasn't that what his sister wanted to hear?  
he looked back at his brother and his best friend. they were going to die.  
then, he closed his eyes. sherlock holmes imagined death so much it felt more like a memory. when was it gonna get him?  
5,4,3...  
now.  
2...  
– I LOVE YOU.  
someone shouted it so loud it was echoing in the room. he didn't have to look back to know it was john. and then, the noise and the numbers stopped.  
john watson said he loved him.  
when sherlock turned back to face him and their eyes met, sherlock knew he meant it.  
sherlock meant it too. all the three times. every day of his life. and yet, john had the guts to say it first.  
no words were necessary. between them, they never were. sherlock stood in front of him and took him into a big hug. that's his way of saying: _it's okay. we can talk about this later. i love you too._

———

then, some strange events succeeded and john watson ended up about to die in the same place it turned out his previous best friend died because of his crazy sister. i can't lose him, sherlock thought. because he just discovered he lost his childhood best friend and couldn't bear to lose the love of his life as well. he just got john watson. he couldn't lose him.  
and he didn't.  
because, maybe the universe loved them, sherlock doesn't know, but he does know that it is rarely so lazy. and john watson was standing right in front of him, with a blanket, and freezing.  
\- oh, thank god - sherlock said, as he took john's face in his hands and started to kiss it - i know god doesn't exist, but i thought i had lost you.  
\- oh, i'm sorry, but sherlock holmes, you're gonna have to deal with me and my shit for a very long time.  
\- actually - sherlock smiled - that would be a privilege.  
\- ok love, let's go, shall we? we have a home to rebuild.  
\- sure, but first... dinner?  
john smiled so big he thought that his cheeks were going to explode.  
\- starving.  
and, with their hands intertwined, the baker street boys went home.

**Author's Note:**

> so, i'm sorry because this idea seemed at lot cooler in my head. also i'' sorry for any mistakes, English isn't my first language.


End file.
